Sam & KJ Are Not Famous

Bus Chronicle.

There’s a homeless guy on this bus with no shirt on. He has an obscene amount of chest hair and it makes me uncomfortable. He also has one of those colored hard plastic cups you get at restaurants for refillable sodas.
Forever refill.
Gregory and the Hawk - “A Wish” is playing on Pandora and I forgot how much I loved this song. It’s truth, it’s (not) love.
Homeless shirtless guy just got off the bus. Silver stallion.
No one is texting me back so maybe I will take a nap. I’ll try not to get murdered.
Until we rich,
KJ(osie).

Dear Samantha,
I’m on a bus. It’s really lame, there’s too many problems (and by problems, I mean people). Is it strange to say that I prefer riding the K back when I lived in SF? It just feels like creep core, strange people just staring at you for no other reason than that they’re either crazy, old, or a combination of the two.
When we’re famous, our man servants will take us via teleportation to wherever we want. Why teleportation, you ask? Because we’ll be so filthy rich, that we could hire smart people to invent it for us.
Some chick in front of me is reading some book called The Road to Success, I wonder if I works.
I should go, the lady sitting next to me keeps creeping and looking at what I’m writing. Yes, you creepy lady, you’re looking at what I’m writing, I bet you feel dumb because I see you trying to read, now the whole interwebs knows you’re a creep.
Until we rich,
KJ.

Another cool thing about Sam and KJ.

We once wrote a version of Wonderwall by Oasis.
it was called Wafflewall.
It was good, but now I forget.
Important things.
-C.S.

“Chickens Witchery” in the Modern Day

A Scholastic Article by Samantha “Chair Sitting” Samuels.

     There are very few evils facing our generation greater than the Chickens Witch.  (To the authors knowledge, the only evil greater is Adele.)  The origin of the Chickens Witch is unknown, however lineage may be traced back to any time in history chickens were enjoyed.

fig A) Example of a man just waiting for some Chickens Witching.

fig B) No one is safe.
     The Chickens Witch is a shape shifter.  It takes any form (frequently a human looking to lull you into a sense of complacency) and usually strikes before the actual enjoyment of a poultry product, to maximize disappointment.
     This has just been a basic overview of the Chickens Witch, however this author now must leave for work.  Check back for modern day examples of Chickens Witchery and how one might avoid getting duped. 

-C.S.